I promised to write about my discussion with my groups of friends about our beliefs, our sense of who we are , our values and makes us happy.

My group had a lively discussion on the subject of identity.

I think the problem is that we can’t get away from our ‘roles’ ( mother, teacher, wife etc) But my own life experience tells me that roles are impermanent and not reliable guide in identifying the person we are. If we depend on our roles to define us we are in serious trouble.

But we can indeed define who we are by looking at, not what we do – ‘ the doing’ bit- against the ‘being’ bit of us which may be more fundamental to our being and which drives us to do what we ‘do’ ie. our roles. This was what we were heading towards at the end of the discussion.

So here goes my list:

women, individual, Indian (malayalee), educated, liberal, passionate, responsible, loving, caring, compassionate, non-conformist, anxious, fearful, self-critical, perfectionist, an underdog and defender of underdogs, spiritual and so on. Probably can think of more.

What makes us happy is also connected to our beliefs and our sense of who we are. So here is a random list of:-
What makes me Happy

  • Having friends around and seeing them happy
  • Spending time with my family
  • Walking with a companion – on the beach, in a park surrounded by nature
  • Having a glass of wine with friends/family
  • Reading
  • Listening to music
  • Having quiet times
  • Doing research?
  • Watching a sunset/ a storm
  • Driving down Mt. Pleasant on a sunny day
  • When somebody smiles at me , recognizes me
  • When somebody complements me
  • When I write; when the writing is published
  • Cooking breakfast for Grace, Mathew and William
  • Shopping
  • Helping young people esp. young people to enjoy what they do
  • Having a slow, relaxing morning
  • Reading the newspaper in bed and having my first cup of coffee
  • Sitting in a quaint/cheery/friendly café with a friend or with friends and watching people
  • Window shopping and looking at beautiful things
  • Being surrounded by beautiful things
  • Wearing nice clothes
  • Watching romantic comedies
  • Sharing nice things – food, holiday, a movie, a walk in the park, a meal or just sitting around with somebody I love

I was hugely relieved and very happy when I discovered a theologian who spoke to me and affirmed my experience of God.

So very briefly some thoughts on the subject of God.

God according to Nicholas Lash

(Nicholas Lash ( born 19340) was Norris-Hulse Professor of Divinity at Cambridge University)
(The following extract is based on the doctoral dissertation “The Doctrine of God According to Cornelius Ernst, Herbert Maccabe and Nicholas Lash” by Rev’d Dr. Sean Fernandez)

From the few, very few, theologians I have read up on, I find Nicholas Lash to be my kind of theologian. Christianity is, he says fundamentally a ‘way of life’ – A form of practical engagement with theoretical implications.

He believes that God is a description rather than a proper noun ( I like that). God is not a thing or a being of a particular kind. Thus to believe that God exists is to believe that there exists ‘something’ which has divine attributes.

How do we encounter God in human life? Lash tells us to consider certain common features of human experience – sometimes liminal experiences, but more often everyday experiences of love, joy, sorrow etc : Consider them as features of your experience.

What is, therefore, to believe in him? It is believing to love, in believing to delight, in believing to walk towards him, and be incorporated amongst the limbs or members of his body. Worshipping God is a relationship with God; it is also a friendship with God and friendship with God is also friendship between peoples.

God is as distant as he is close. Lash emphasizes that we cannot know what God is. But God gives form to his presence amongst the people in his demands for justice. It is in this world that God has given us the task of building true human community.

Values according to Suzy Welch in “10-10-10” allows us to live in sync with our authentic dreams, hopes and beliefs.